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Let’s Talk About Sex, at Least Anonymously Online

July 29th, 2011 by Frisky Franny · 14 Comments · Capitol Hill

Uploaded to Flickr by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Some of you may have been happy about it, while others may have wondered where I went. Or maybe you never read my posts to begin with—after all I did only write two.

I can’t say exactly what caused my absence, nor am I suggesting it’s open to speculation, but I will admit that I did wonder if DC, or the Hill for that matter, was willing to read about sex and, in turn, talk about sex. Sure, I was doing all of the writing, but I wanted to hear what people had to say. What I really wanted to do was get our readers engaged in some thoughtful (dare I say saucy?) conversations. Our fair city is home to its fair share of sex scandals—sex with interns who shop at the Gap, high-end escorts who frequent the Mayflower Hotel, bulging crotch shots on Twitter—so I have to believe we can take some frank talk about sex.

And then I heard about the forums on the DC Urban Moms and Dads web site.  Yes we can… talk about sex!

I’m woman enough to admit that I read about two hours worth of posts discussing everything from voyeurism and ball play to cheating, sexual fantasies and cheating as a sexual fantasy. With so many interesting topics to read about, what piqued my interest were the number of posts from women seeking validation from men, anonymously of course, about everything from what panties one’s partner might like to preferred sex encounters.

Maybe it’s because moms are quick to sacrifice their time and their looks in favor of raising children, or maybe it’s because husbands stop seeing wives as anything more than vice presidents of domestic affairs. Regardless of why, it appears that many moms are using this forum to make them feel like they matter or to seek validation beyond that which they get from successful careers or happy, healthy families. Women need reassurance that they are doing the right things in bed. They need to know what will help ignite desires. They need to know that they aren’t the only ones who wished they had experimented more in college. Urban moms want to talk about sex and they want you to tell them they are hot. They want to talk about sex.

So let’s see how you feel moms and dads (as well as couples without kids and singletons) of Capitol Hill. Do you read or post on DC Urban Moms and Dads (or similar blogs/forums)? Do you wish there was a local Moms on the Hill (MoTH) equivalent? Or is the topic of sex too much for you to handle?

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  • Anonymous

    blah blah blah.

    once again – your posts aren’t wanted here! If we wanted to read/talk about sex, we would go to that forum you posted. This is a neighborhood blog. I realize that sex is a big part of everyone’s life (in Washington just as much as anywhere else), but this blog is focused on our neighborhood, not our love lives! If you feel like sex is fair game because everyone does it, why not start talking about what we do in the bathroom? The point is, I am certain that the majority of this blog’s readers don’t want to read or discuss this topic here.

  • estreetse

    Again–horrible. That assessment needs no explanation.

    I suspect that this is only an attempt to generate discussion in the comments section, since someone at THIH made the foolish decision several weeks ago to make posting comments nearly impossible. I miss the convos that used to pop up on this blog.

  • Anonymous

    I see her at Fragers…she tries to make her way past me in the narrow aisle…her breasts brush against my back. I am instantly aroused.
    We make love in the small public bathroom near the light bulbs….our cries of passion muffled only by the grinding of the key machine.

  • http://brunchandthecity.com/ Claudia Holwill

    We made the change to our comments because there were some bad apples that were abusing the system. We are far from alone in doing this and chose Disqus because several other blogs, such as DCist, use it which means you only need to register once for all of our sites. Thank you for registering so that you can join the conversation again!

    • Anonymous

      I call phooey on that, and agree completely with estreetse! You guys took one or two comments waaay to0 personally and decided to go with this “new and improved” format. You really only wanted to be able to find out who didn’t like you. Kind of high-schoolish. The blog is half of what it once was, and the lively comments and discussion is sorely missed. Sorry, just my isp-traceable opinion.

      • Anonymous

        You were traceable before. WE’VE known who you were all along. Trying to be sneaky in the first place is what was really high schoolish, if you ask me.

        Basically we tired of the e-tough guys who wouldn’t dare say to our faces (or those of our other commenters) what they say online.

        Frankly, as an owner and editor here, I’d rather have no conversation than faux conversation.

        (And before someone tries to say that Frisky posting under a pseudonym is hypocritical – you might be right. But, our blog, our rules. Over the coming months, we are lining up several folks to write under the Frisky Franny moniker. If you don’t like it – don’t read it. We’re totally cool with that.)

        • Anonymous

          Nichole,
          Not quite sure what to say other than to invite you to a face to face meeting. Since you know who I am, come on by to see me and we’ll talk frankly and openly. Your awfully accusatory, so bring an apology with you.

          Jay

          • Anonymous

            Not accusatory at all – just clarifying that there wasn’t some kind of THIH conspiracy to find out who was saying what here, b/c we’ve always been able to see IP addresses and who was who. But I’m more than happy to chat – feel free to email me at Nichole Remmert theHillisHome com to arrange a time.

            And Jay, this part is not to you specifically at all (and also I am only speaking for me here):

            I love our readers and commenters – even the ones who don’t like what we have to say or what we’re doing. I appreciate that you read our blog, and take the time to register and chime in. And I do value your input and will take it under advisement HOWEVER we do this as a labor of love and write what we want, for us first and foremost. If you like it and want to read – great. If you hate it and want to read (or not) – great. If you want to have some say with regard to the content here though, you’ll going to have to shoot me an email at Nichole Remmert theHillisHome com and become part of our team – we’d love to have you on board. While I think (and again – I speak only for me) it’s flattering that so many of you seem to have a sense of ownership of THIH, there are only 5 owner/editors and another dozen or so writers who can actually make that claim. If you want to join us, email me.

      • http://brunchandthecity.com/ Claudia Holwill

        It really wasn’t a conspiracy or anyone taking one or two comments too personally. It was a number of abusive that you were unlikely to see because they were moderated pretty quickly — many of which weren’t even about our writers. It’s easy for folks to cross the line when their are anonymous, or can put whatever pseudonym they want for each individual comment. Getting people to stick with one pseudonym will hopefully help things. Being on the moderation side of things isn’t so pretty, trust me. It’s made me sad to realize how immature some of our neighbors can be.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t mind having a sex-related column in this blog, but this post just talks about sex to talk about sex. I think I remember one post (which I can’t seem to find now) about hearing your neighbors, particularly now that it’s gotten warmer and the windows are open. I thought that one was clever and well-written and had an interesting tie to neighborhood life and living on the Hill. However, the other two seem to be just fishing for a blush-worthy chat. This is, first and foremost, a blog about our neighborhood. That is why people come here. They’re not rejecting the topic, because they’re prudes. They can just get this stuff elsewhere, and these posts aren’t adding anything of substance to the conversation. If you insist on continuing this column, at least come up with more original ideas than basing your posts on ill-researched, broad generalizations.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t mind having a sex-related column in this blog, but this post just talks about sex to talk about sex. I think I remember one post (which I can’t seem to find now) about hearing your neighbors, particularly now that it’s gotten warmer and the windows are open. I thought that one was clever and well-written and had an interesting tie to neighborhood life and living on the Hill. However, the other two seem to be just fishing for a blush-worthy chat. This is, first and foremost, a blog about our neighborhood. That is why people come here. They’re not rejecting the topic, because they’re prudes. They can just get this stuff elsewhere, and these posts aren’t adding anything of substance to the conversation. If you insist on continuing this column, at least come up with more original ideas than basing your posts on ill-researched, broad generalizations.

  • Frisky Franny

    Yes, I’ll admit that I’m not talking about the hill-based internet service provider people are using to cruise DCUM for potential threesome partners or which coffee shop people are sitting in when they post their anonymous fantasies, but I believe the general thesis is that despite previous comments written in response to past columns, people aren’t quite as stuffy as one would infer. Writing about a column in the Hill is home equals a Hill-focused column.

    People in the city, presumably people on the hill, are willing to talk about sex online, in forums. Much like my first column was an introduction to the idea (linked above); this column serves the same purpose. After a three month absence from posting, I felt it was worth a re-introduction. Also, DCUM really did make me think this column was worth another try.

    I’m already writing a second column that I believe has a strong Hill focus, but I am willing to let you decide for yourself.

    As for what this blog is supposed to be about. Yes, the blog is about things to see and do on the Hill. But it’s also about home and what happens after we leave the bars and the restaurants and head home. If you, person commenting or reading this comment, object to this column then I suspect you object to Monday Morning Circle Time, too. The only difference here, I have to assume, is that the topic of sex is offensive enough to make you take the time to respond with a comment about how wrong we are to allow this post.

    So, for those offended or those who think it unnecessary; skip the post just like you’d skip sports section or the real estate section of the Post if the content does not interest you. I’ll use a we here: We will keep writing as long as we want to, after all, the Post doesn’t stop writing columns or publishing sections of the paper because not everyone wants to talk about football or see new home listings.

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